Hey guys, sorry I haven't been on for a couple of days.. Just some drama at school and things. Tuesday I didn't even come home from school until like eleven at night. Right after school I had Marine Bio. club, then I went straight to selling consessions for prom at the basketball games. It was quite fun though. Our student advisor; Susan, was dicussing prom with me and everything that we are going to do. We have to make 10,000 more dollars to get everything to be stunning. So far it is going to be totally awesome. I am soo tired lately. I fell asleep on the couch right after school, and woke up about an hour ago. So I kind of freaked out at school on this girl. Well she is not just a girl she is my sister's best friend. Everyday she teases me and gets some other people to do the same to me. Everyday I ask her nicely to stop, and tell her that she is hurting my feelings and stuff and she just keeps it up. Yesterday she made me really mad and she was calling me all kinds of names and I freaked out and got up in her face. I was going to punch her in the face but at the last minute re-directed it to the wall last minute. My hand is all busted up. I get too mad too easily but I just lost my head. She is a senior and I'm a Junior. I did it right in the middle of class but I didn't get in any trouble. Today a whole bunch of people were giving me crap and I didn't really even care. Then she had her mom call me freaking out after she was the one who caused it all. Well anyways, I'll get off of that. I am soo tired so I am going to get off of here and I will tell you how tomorrow goes..

Uhhggg.. Well things are not doing good. My dad just got home and had the whole "I hate it when you ignore me for your girlfriend" dicussion. It didn't go well. As he was texing her, ignoring me I said that's what I am talking about.. Well he just replied "it's hard I don't want to spend my life all alone. It's hard to balance everything. You get everything that you need." Yeah not good. Well then he just started freaking out telling me that he tries. He doesn't really though. He still ignores me and my sister and he doesn't really care...

Today has been a pretty bad day. My dad decided to go to Klamath Falls. Thats about 3 hours away from where we are to visit his girlfriend. Maybe I am just like psycho, but I am so sick of it. Everything is ALWAYS about her. On my dads days off she is always over here, or he is there. He never spends any time with me any more. He was supposed to be back today a long time ago. He blew me off again. After I made arrangements with my teacher to take tests after school my dad informs me that he won't be home to pick me up. So I didn't get to stay and make up some tests that I really needed to do. He thinks I am the one with the problem, and that it is all me. My sister thinks the same thing. Then he magically forgets telling me he would be home and that he would pick me up. That was just on Saturday. I can't deal with this anymore. I do most all the cooking and cleaning and my dad is always gone. Then he was freaking out because I want to go to Idaho and he thinks my mom should pay for it. I am sick of everything. I wish I could just run away from it all. Infact thats a great idea. Right now I am watching Walk The Line. The story of Johnny Cash. When I grow up, I'm going to make a difference in the world, and move far away from my parents. The only time that I want to see my mom and dad when I get older, is at my wedding. My dad can walk me down the asile and then leave. That would be just so ideal. I will treat them both with anonymity, and if they ever change their ways then I will speak to them again. Sorry to drag on.. I'm just done with it all.
Well my blogs are a little lame I admit. Sometimes it really makes me feel a lot better to just write about things. I got my friend to dye his beard pink. Like neon pink. He lost a bet. :] It looks so funny. Well I am quite tired. I hope my dad gets home soon. I am making him take me to portland this next weekend so that I can hang out in the city for the weekend. I dare him to say no. Or else I will quit "running" the house. I will stop cleaning and cooking. He had never once asked my older sister, or anyone else. I just kind of do it because he is never home. Well I am going to get off of here I am quite tired.. I went to bed way to late last night.

I'm cooking Cinnamon roles right now. I hope they turn out good. Here's my self made recipe.

Bread:
3 1/4 cups bread flour.
2 tsp dry active yeast.
1 1/2 cups warm water.
2 Tbs Cinnamon.
Add walnuts if wanted.

Filling:
4 Tbs butter.
2 1/2 cups brown sugar. (Depending on how gooey you like them, less or more.)
enough Cinnamon to lightly cover the bread.

Topping:
You can either make a glaze out of powdered sugar or spread some frosting on the top.

Mix all the bread ingredients together.Make sure THE WATER IS WARM. Mix them well and until the dough is sticky. You can either do it by hand or mixer. Then let it rest for 8 minutes. Spread 1/4 cup flour onto a dry counter top. Knead the bread until it is no longer sticky. Add as little flour as possible. Let it rest for 30 minutes. Then shape it into a ball, grease a bowl and set the bread dough in there. Then turn the dough over once. let it rise for an hour and a half or until the bread dough has doubled.
Preheat the over to 375 degrees. Then punch the bread down in the bowl. Take it out and roll it into a rectangle. 11 by 13. Then let it rest for five minutes. Go back to the dough and re roll it gently if needed. After that spread the butter on, then the brown sugar and then the Cinnamon. Roll it up like a jelly roll, and let it rest for 10 minutes. After you are done with this you are ready to cut them. A bread knife is best to use to do this. Cut them however big you would like them. The thicker they are cut the bigger they will be. Once you are done cutting them, put them into a glass pan that has high sides. Grease the bottom and sides with pan. Put them into the pan tightly packed together. Let them rise for 15 minutes. And you are ready to pop them into the oven. There is no real time just watch them until golden brown on top, and doubled in size usually means they are done.

Yeah lame. A recipe. We made $1,000 today doing a can and bottle drive. Wow. We still have like $10,000 to go though. Our prom is going to cost around 15,000 or more. I think it will be pretty cool. Our theme is Cinderella and Prince Charming. I think it should be fun. Today was a good day. My dad went to go visit the girlfriend who lives like 3 hours away. She is a college student. Well I am super tired and I have to go deal with the Cinnamon roles I am making so I might tell you more about my day in a little while. Well bye for now.

So I decided not to go to my friends today. It was bad planning. I stayed out most of the night last night with friends, and I slept in until like 1:30 P.M. today. Crazy, I know. My dad and I are on good terms today, which is a nice change. I went over to my grandmas house today and ate dinner and apple pie. Tomorrow I have the dreded bottle drive tomorrow for prom. I accidently broke the screen on my new Itouch from dropping it. I tried to put a picture of it up. I still can't figure that out. It's just cracked, and everything still works. I might go see a movie sometime this week. I really want to see Avatar; I heard it was really good. I am watching Bruce Almighty right now. It is super funny. Nothing much has really happened today and I am really bored. I just found out that this summer I get to go to Idaho, for awhile. We are having a big family get together. Every year we all choose one holiday, and spend it at my aunts house. We do a lot of fun things. She lives in Starr, which is like 30 minutes away from Boise. Last year we had a huge game of bingo with our whole family with a bunch of little prizes. This is on my moms side of the family. We are going up there for the Fourth Of July. It's going to be a blast. Then after that I am most likely going to Souther California. I'm excited for that too. It is so warm there and there is so much to do.

I am so glad to have followers. I think that is a good thing. I can't wait until I live on my own. When I can cook whatever I want, and have a traditional Christmas. This year for Christmas my dad was really tired because he went to Seattle, Washington to pick up his girlfriend from the airport. He got back at four in the morning and didn't get up until like one or two in the afternoon. So that kind of sucked. I just think everything will be all better when I grow up, and am on my own.

Have you ever felt like eyerything in your life was going grossly downhill all at the same time. --Yeah that is me right now. My grades suck, because I don't understand what I am doing half the time, My dad and I fight all the time, I don't talk to my mom anymore, Everyone doubts me, I feel like I just can't relate to anyone. My dad has this new girlfriend who lets just say younger than him. My dad is 36, and his girlfriend is 27. She is like super concious of like anything fattening. So while she is over here she only eats chicken. So that means that we all only eat chicken. She watches the dumbest shows I have ever seen, like cheaters and other stupid soap operas.. To top it all off my dad adores her, and he spends every waking moment with her. He doesn't even care to notice that I do or do not do anything. He could care less of how I am doing in school because he just thinks I don't try; and trust me I try. He basically lets me do just about anything that I want, and I just feel like he doesn't care anymore. I don't talk to my mom anymore because she is just a very destructive person. They both put me in a position to choose between them. My mom is all mad about my dads new girlfriend and so just does things to get back at him. My dad is no better though. UHH. I just can't take it anymore. I wish I just had a family; a normal one. With a mom and a dad in the same house, and kids, and everything was just okay. I have a dad; a mom; and a sister- Oh and new girlfriend. You know I have done some stupid things just so maybe my dad would notice and do something about it. But he never does. He never notices a thing. Like when I sneak out at night to go off with guys, or when I just do stupid things. I don't know why I do them I guess they just make me feel better. Okay I know that I am having a total meltdown.. I just can't take it anymore.. I would rather have a break down on here than having it in person. I just wish my dad would notice how much I try to do, and that I just need help. I need help with just everything. I just wish that he would realize that I am a good person. I wish he would notice how much that I love politics, and that I am actually intelegent, and that I have views on things. I wish that he knew what college I wanted to go to, my favorite colors, and that I care care about things and people. I know thats a lot to ask for.. But if just one or two of those things could happen I would be happy.

Okay sorry for the total melt down. I'm just tired of holding it all in. I might be going to my friend Heather's house tonight. She is a lot older than me, but she is a good friend. She is like 24 and she lives with her boyfriend and they always have good advice for me. I tell them pretty much everything. So I might not be on for a couple of days. I will for sure be back on Sunday though because I have a fundraiser for prom.. And I am kind of leading it. I am sick of the rain. I need sunshine. Sunshine makes me happy so maybe I will feel better when the sun comes out. I hope someone can maybe give me some adivce if anyone is reading along. P.S. I have tried talking about it.. It just doesn't work.

में पलाऊ humanity

Hey guys it is me again! It is pretty darn cold today. I wish it was warm. In southern California, in Plam Springs, it 79 degrees there. <3. I live in Oregon, close to Eugene and it rains A LOT. That is mostly what it does October-May, and then in gets pretty warm here. I am contemplating cutting my hair short; again. I can't wait for next Tuesday. In my college prep English class we are doing a project with the DLC (Special-Ed.) kids, where we do what they do for a day. They basically learn life skills, and help clean the school. I am so very excited. Last year I went to prom with a kid named nate who was a DLC kid. It was some of the most fun I had ever had. Geeze, I've had to correct so many type-o's in this. I am just off with typing today. Sorry I change the subject so much.. I'm just kind of random sometimes.

Anyways time for a good solid topic. Humanity.
Have you ever noticed that people just aren't very compassionate? Yeah, well I have. I am so tired of jerks, and self obsorbed people. (Yes. I know I am writing a blog that is mostly about me.. However, I am not really that self obsorbed.) For example. This kid in my class- his name is Garret Keil- he is the Rudest person I have ever met. He is generally not very rude to me, although he does have his moments, he is the biggest self obsorbed jerk I have ever seen. He makes fun of people all the time and tries to be the center of attention in whatever way possible. I hate people like that. That is just one exaple, but it is getting to be that way all over the place. People are so into brand name clothes, and fitting in, and just all about their selves these days. (I have to admit, I wear some brand name stuff... But it is not my life, and I only wear it because it looks nice.) It seems to me that no one really cares about what is important any more, they just care about what is popular. Obviously there has always been some of that (Bell-Bottoms, Big Hair, Etc..) but never to this extent. Maybe it is just a young person things, but it is really bad when you see adults doing some of the same things. Not only that I am sick and tired of so called "Teen Idols", and "Teen Rolemodels". I mean come on!!! Even Miley Cyrus is being a hoochie, and getting tattoos in questionable places and she is off of the Disney Channel. One of the only ones I actually have respect for is Taylor Swift. Don't even get me started on Adam Lambert. Well I know that I am ranting.. But it makes me quite mad to know that my little sister actually looks up to people like that.. Well that is it for today...